unbelivable…sitting here and waiting for my 4th operation, already but still 3 after this one to go through…so it turns our really well when I consider that after three interventions I am feeling that better – on the other hand side, I am freaking out, just thinking about what will be if not…of course I can deal with the circumstance, but is this how I pictured my life before? could happen…Having a strange allergy now on my hands, might be nothing to do with the medicine I am taking, as it seems familiar to me, I think I had them twice already, but not that strong and lasting…Sun is shining, my friend Esther is coming later to visit me, I went for a meditation stretching in the park this morning after a short sleep this night and another one the night before with nightmares…If there is somebody, either god or the universe or whom ever who is taking care about us, I pray that he or she will let me survive in a happy way! Of course I would love to deal now and tell what all I am doing, if operation goes well…I know now 100% that my illness turned out because of my high psychical stress lever and under the pressure I am being / was during the last 10-20 years…always wanted to be successful, damn, I was and still I am! But is it worth if this is the outcome?
