Healthy Breakfast

As the most important meal of the day, breakfast is deserving of your undivided attention. It gives your body the energy it needs to kick-start the day and keep up with jobs, kids, pets, errands, yoga classes, and everything in between. Breakfast has also been shown to have a variety of health benefits beyond daily nourishment, like aiding in weight control.

One of the great things about breakfast is that there’s so much flexibility built into it. You can go sweet, savory, sweet and savory, light, or filling. If you wake up with a sweet tooth, and think, “Must eat pancakes right now!” know that you have some healthier options. These recipes can satisfy a sugar craving without the sugar rush, and they’re packed with the nutrients your body needs to start your day off right.

Banana Chia Seed Pudding

This healthy twist on traditional banana pudding (the indulgent treat stuffed with vanilla wafers and loads of sugar and fat) is still delicious and satisfying. The chia seeds add a powerful dose of nutrients, including omega-3 fatty acids, fiber, protein, vitamins, and minerals.


  • 2 bananas
  • 1 cup full fat coconut milk (or 1 1/2 cups nut milk of choice)
  • 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract (optional)
  • 1/3 cup chia seeds
  • 2 tablespoons maple syrup
  • Pinch of sea salt

Place bananas, milk, cinnamon, and vanilla into a blender and blend until smooth.

Pour the mixture into a bowl and add chia seeds. Stir well.

Cover bowl and refrigerate at least two hours (preferably overnight).

Stir in maple syrup and salt. Top with additional cinnamon, nuts, granola, etc.


Apple Pie Oatmeal

This recipe is comforting, warm, spicy, and filling all at once. Fall is right around the corner, and many varieties of apples are at their peak. You can choose any type of apple you like; they’re all fine choices because apples are full of antioxidants and dietary fiber, which can help you feel fuller longer. Oats are also a wonderful source of heart-healthy soluble fiber and aid in satiation.


  • 1/3 cup rolled oats
  • 1 apple, chopped
  • 1 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1/4 teaspoon ginger
  • 1/8 teaspoon nutmeg
  • Pinch of sea salt
  • 1 cup milk of choice
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract (optional)
  • 1 teaspoon lemon juice
  • 2 tablespoons maple syrup or honey
  • Chopped pecans or almonds (topping)


In a small pot over medium heat, combine oats, apple, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, salt, milk, and vanilla.

Cook for 10 minutes, stirring frequently, until thickened.

Remove from heat and pour into serving bowl.

Add lemon juice, maple syrup, and toppings, like nuts, apples, or additional cinnamon. 

Strawberry Macadamia Nut Oat Bars

Macadamia nuts are nutrient-rich wonder nuggets. They don’t just taste amazing; they’re also full of stuff your body loves and needs like vitamins and minerals, protein, healthy fats, and antioxidants. Add in the fiber-filled oats and nutrient-rich berries, and you have yourself a winning breakfast.


  • 1 1/2 cups pitted dates
  • 1/4 cup macadamia nuts
  • 2 tablespoons oats
  • Pinch of sea salt
  • 1 cup strawberries, chopped


Pulse dates, nuts, oats, and salt in a food processor or blender until well combined but not smooth (mixture should be chunky).

Press mixture into the bottom of a 9 x 5 pan.

Mash half of the berries, and spread them on top of the oat mixture.

Top with remaining berries. 

Cinnamon Roll Muffins

These muffins are indulgent and scrumptious, and the most dessert-like out of all of the recipes listed here. As such, they’re best reserved for a “sometimes” breakfast. The eggs are a great source of high-quality protein and are rich in heart-healthy omega-3 fatty acids.


  • 1/4 cup almond flour
  • 1/4 cup coconut flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/4 teaspoon sea salt
  • 2 eggs
  • 1/4 coconut oil
  • 1/4 cup maple syrup
  • 1 teaspoon cinnamon (plus 1 teaspoon for topping)
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 tablespoon coconut sugar (for topping)

In a medium bowl, combine almond flour, coconut flour, baking soda, and salt.

Beat the eggs in a large bowl, and then add coconut oil, maple syrup, cinnamon, and vanilla. Stir until well-combined.

Pour dry mixture into wet mixture and stir well.

Spoon mixture into lined muffin cups, and sprinkle a bit of cinnamon and sugar on top.

Bake for 10 minutes at 350 degrees. 


Carrot Cake Pancakes

Carrots are one of the most widely used vegetables in the world, partly because of their versatility. They work equally well in salads and in cake! Carrots are a rich source of vitamins and minerals, most notably beta-carotene and fiber. And the eggs provide the high-quality protein necessary to fuel your whole morning.


  • 1 cup grated carrots
  • 2 eggs
  • 1/2 cup full fat coconut milk
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract (optional)
  • 1/2 cup almond flour
  • 1/4 cup coconut flour
  • 1 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon sea salt
  • 2 tablespoons maple syrup
  • Toppings – nuts, maple syrup, butter of choice, honey, etc.

In a medium bowl, combine carrots, eggs, coconut milk, and vanilla.

In a separate large bowl, combine almond flour, coconut flour, cinnamon, baking powder, and salt.

Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients bowl.

Let sit for five minutes and assess consistency. Add coconut flour or coconut milk if too wet or dry.

Heat skillet on medium heat. Cook pancakes for about three minutes, or until bubbles form in the center, flip, and cook an additional two minutes.

Top with maple syrup, nuts, berries, etc.

4 Steps to Self-Mastery

Mastery is usually defined as be highly skilled or proficient in one or more areas of life. Self-Mastery takes this to its highest level. To be the Master of your own Self is to fully understand who you really are. It is a discovery of the Guru within, the inner guiding Light. It means taking full responsibility for your own life. Mastery in this sense doesn’t mean to control in a negative way; it’s the realization that you are the Universe, and that you and everything around you flows harmoniously together in the magnificent dance of your own creation.

The true Yogi is a master of everything in his or her life, so Self-Mastery becomes the foundation for Spiritual Mastery. The first step is to become conscious of who you are and then you can master the gifts and talents that you have. Like your spiritual practice, the path of Self-Mastery unfolds throughout your life. It is an internal and self-directed journey, whose progress only you can determine.

The key to mastery in anything is practice; the more you practice, the more proficient you become. The term “spiritual practice” doesn’t only denote what you do but also implies the necessity of regularity. Without practice and dedication, there can be no mastery. As everything is a projection of the Self, you could practice and become a master of anything. By becoming a master of all the different areas of life, you would ultimately gain Self-Mastery. This, however, would be a long process. The shortcut is to go directly for the Self. By becoming a master of that which controls everything, you spontaneously become a master of everything. Maharishi Mahesh Yogi used to say, “Capture the fort and all the territory will be yours”. This is the victory of Self-Mastery.

Self-Mastery also requires patience, truthfulness, purity, impeccability, and faith. The patience to accept what is and to know when to allow things to unfold in their own time. To be true not only in your words and actions but to be honest with yourself. To be pure in your lifestyle through a healthy diet, regular exercise, and good sleep. To be the best you can in all you do, with humility and respect. To have faith in the path you have chosen, faith in your teachers and faith in your ability to be masterful.

Let’s look at the steps you can take to unlock the full potential of your Self-Mastery.


Your thoughts are constantly taking you into the future or the past so, consequently, this is probably where you spend most of your life. To be aware is to be present—to live in this moment, the NOW. To be aware is to always keep coming back to what is happening NOW. The NOW is where you connect with your Higher Self, with your Essence. Being aware is to witness your thoughts, emotions, actions, and the world with non-attachment.

Meditation is the direct route which takes you into Pure Awareness in the silent spaces between your thoughts. However, right now, be aware of your breath flowing in and out. Be aware of any sensations in your body, be aware of your clothes touching your body. Be aware of the sounds around you, the sounds within you. Be aware of your thoughts and any emotions, effortlessly witnessing them coming and going. Now and any time during the day—when you’re eating, walking, working, doing anything—pause and ask yourself, “Who is listening? Who is watching? Who is smelling, tasting, feeling?” There’s a presence, a witness. This is your Higher Self. This is being aware.


Everything in life before Self-Mastery is a choice. Your choices create the life you live. When you allow the ego to control your choices, you live in lower vibrations. When you choose forgiveness, compassion, and Truth, you move into your Mastery.

To discern is to choose wisely. First, you need to be aware that there are choices and then to choose consciously—to become the conscious choice-maker. The subtlest level of discernment is to ask the heart for guidance so your choices come from love and not fear. When you ask, “What would my Higher Self do?”, you will always be true to yourself. When you choose Light over darkness, the whole universe opens to support you.

This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t use your commonsense, but always remember that first impulse from the heart when making the final decision.

Now you are aware, start becoming aware of your choices. Take one thing in your life that brings you discomfort and yet you keep doing it out of habit. Sit quietly, close your eyes, bring your awareness into your heart center, and ask, “What do I need to change?” Then just listen. Don’t analyze, or judge, just listen to the voice of your heart.


Once you have made your conscious choice, you need to have the courage to act on it. The ego is always waiting to distract you, and the closer you approach Self-Mastery, the more powerful the distractions become.

To be focused on the path of Self-Mastery requires you to be one-pointed without being rigid. It requires you to stay alert, unemotional, and mature. To be firm without oppression, to be resolved without judgment, to be strong with humility. It requires you to practice silence and stillness so your inner wisdom can reveal itself. Surrender to the Divine so when things don’t seem to be going your way, you realize there’s an even greater opportunity waiting for you. Self-Mastery also requires you to be courageous, to step out from the crowd and know that there’s no turning back.

Take your conscious choice and make a commitment to it, while still remaining unattached to its outcome. Be aware of the distractions, witness them, and let them go. Stay focused but flexible. Look for the clues that will be sent to help you. Transmute any difficulties into opportunities. Trust your inner wisdom. 

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When you realize your Self-Mastery, you radiate your Light and Divinity for all to enjoy. There is no need for choice in the regular sense because all your actions are spontaneously in alignment with Natural Law. You can neither harm or be harmed. You can still enjoy the limited, localized value of the senses, while at the same time roaming free in the non-local Supreme value, “In the world but not of it.” Happiness becomes bliss, separation becomes wholeness, your feminine and masculine qualities merge. You realize your Oneness. Fully awake in the I Am Presence, Pure Consciousness, Truth, Love. Commanders of the Light, fulfilling the promise of your Destiny.

Imagine what it will be like to have no boundaries or limitations, to be free, and for all your actions to be spontaneously correct and all desires spontaneously fulfilled. Imagine Self-Mastery, it’s here waiting for you right now.

How to Reverse the Effects of Chronic Stress

Acute stress, which is short term and the most common form of stress, can be motivating and some even find it exciting when experienced in low doses. Chronic stress, however, provides zero positive advantages. On the contrary, it can wreak havoc on your body and mind.

Fortunately, you don’t have to fall victim to the effects of chronic stress, regardless of how long you’ve lived with them. Its symptoms can not only be managed but also reversed.

According to the American Psychological Association, chronic stress occurs when you feel trapped by stress over extended periods of time, when there seems to be no solution in sight. Unlike acute stress, which you can quickly identify, chronic stress often goes undetected as you become accustomed to its familiarity, no matter how unpleasant it may be. Over time, it begins to wear you down, both physically and mentally.

Symptoms of stress include (but are not limited to):

  • Headaches
  • Fatigue
  • Shortness of breath
  • Stomach pain
  • Tense, aching muscles
  • Emotional distress such as anxiety, irritability, and depression
  • Feeling overwhelmed and out of control
  • Difficulty focusing
  • Changes in appetite

When experienced in the short term, these symptoms do little to affect your long-term health. As uncomfortable as they may be in the present, they will eventually pass if experienced only temporarily. It becomes a problem when you experience a variation of symptoms over an extended period of time. Prolonged stress damages your immune system, making you more susceptible to illness, infection, and a host of serious health problems such as heart disease and some kinds of cancer.

A common misconception is stress must be avoided altogether before its damaging effects occur. But when you try to fight it or flee from it, you only intensify it. The truth is, stress is a part of life. The best thing you can do for your health and well-being is to develop a healthy relationship with stress, which starts with learning how to manage it.

Fortunately, it’s never too late to learn how to learn how to manage stress and help reverse its negative impact. Below are a few ways to undo the damaging effects of stress that you can put into practice right now:

1. Try Aerobic Exercise

It’s no surprise that exercise is a great stress reducer, but recent findings reveal that aerobic exercise in particular can actually reverse its effects. Poor blood-vessel health is often a symptom of chronic stress, raising the risk of cardiovascular disease. According to research conducted at West Virginia University in 2016, stressed rats that performed aerobic exercise were able to maintain normal blood vessels compared to the blood vessels of stressed rats that did not exercise.

Given the importance of heart health and the negative impact stress can have on it, aerobic exercise could be a vital addition to your daily routine, particularly if you have experienced long-term stressors. The Mayo Clinic recommends 150 minutes a week of moderate aerobic activity, such as walking or swimming.

2. Practice Yoga and Meditation

A 2017 study published in the journal Frontiers in Immunology found that mind-body interventions (MBIs) such as yoga, meditation, and Tai-Chi, can actually produce molecular changes in DNA. According to the study, those who practice these activities may be able to reduce the risk of inflammation  and inflammation-related diseases when under stress. In other words, according to the study’s authors, MBIs reverse the negative effects of stress by literally changing your biology.

3. Seek Help from a Professional

Because chronic stress can be difficult to identify, talking things out with a mental health care professional could make it easier to pinpoint where the stress is stemming from and how to better manage it. Additionally, journaling consistently, particularly first thing in the morning, is a great way to observe one’s thoughts, including those that have become so habitual.

Seeking out a doctor who practices integrative medicine, or medicine that takes into account the whole person, including lifestyle choices, can also be helpful in reversing the impact of stress. Since stress can damage the body, depleting it of vital vitamins and nutrients, it can be helpful to have tests performed that identify what it may be lacking. Rebuilding the immune system can also help to better combat stress.


4. Strengthen Your Support System

Emotional support can serve as a protective shield against the damaging effects of stress. According to the American Psychological Association, a strong social support system can actually enhance your ability to handle stressors on your own by increasing self-esteem and confidence.

And it’s not just the amount of people in your life that matters; it’s the quality of the friends, family members, and other people in your support system. Make sure you’re leaning on the supportive, understanding relationships in your life to increase feelings of connectedness, self-worth, and security, as opposed to the toxic, depleting relationships.

Social networks take a variety of forms, such as having a phone conversation with a close family member, volunteering with an organization, or meeting a friend for coffee. The feeling of belongingness that arises when you connect with others can make stressful situations seem more manageable.

Life can be full of stress; at some times more than others. Pay attention to when the stress extends for longer periods of time and make sure you’re armed with coping tactics so you can manage it in a healthy way.

29.12.17 – Hilfe suchend…

Dear Jeannette,

since 27th october it is prooved and confirmed that I am having CTEPH –
I am a 39 year old mother with a son (he turned 3 on the 11th nov) and married to an amazing
husband – we all 3 live together in Ibiza, having a good business, working hard but also
enjoying /were enjoying live very much.
Why I am writing you, cause I want to help other young mothers / woman to make sure they
listen better to their body as I did…since 2nd of may I am noticing, that sth. isn´t working well,
but I thought it is the stress, as season started, as an Event & wedding planner may and june are
the bussiest month. I was calling my mum after I was walking up to the bedroom and then down into the living room
– heavy breathing. I would love to tell my story to everybody to awake awareness and attention to this „rare“ illness.
I am afraid on the one hand side as I am fighting for my life, but on the other hand  I had good luck
as I ended very quickly in Bad Nauheim after Ibiza (Rosario clinic 4 days intensive care) with a privat jet and a team of Johanniter in munich
(Grosshadern / Prof. Dr. Behr) and due to a relationship of a „friend“ of mine to the clinic Bad Nauheim (Prof. Dr. Mayer) and I am
supported by an amazing family and friends.
How can I help others and also what can I do to „move“ the medical research, finding new or improve the technics in operations
/ interventions like the BPA (had my first 11the dec)?
Un saludo muy cordial Alexandra Sixt


Pulmonale Ballonangioplastie (BPA)  Seit der ersten Beschreibung in 1988 wurde die pulmonale Ballonangioplastie (BPA) anfangs nur sehr selten durchgeführt. Seit etwa 2010 haben verschiedene Arbeitsgruppen vor allem aus Japan Erfahrungen mit größeren Patientengruppen gesammelt. Seit März 2014 wird dieser spezielle Eingriff auch in der Kerckhoff-Klinik angeboten. Mittlerweile gehört unsere Abteilung zu den größten BPA-Zentren weltweit. Alle Patienten werden dabei durch ein erfahrenes und speziell-geschultes BPA-Team betreut. Mit Hilfe der BPA können weit peripher gelegene Veränderungen der Pulmonalarterien mittels eines Führungsdrahtes erreicht und anschließend mit einem Ballon aufgedehnt werden. Jedoch können dabei, in Abhängigkeit von der Schwere der Erkrankung, nur wenige Läsionen auf einmal behandelt werden. Es sind daher mehrere Sitzungen erforderlich. Die BPA wird am wachen Patienten durchgeführt. Über einen venösen Zugang in der Leiste wird eine Schleuse eingebracht, über die dann Führungskatheter und –drähte vorgeschoben werden.
Entsprechend der vorab festgelegten Zielgebiete werden die jeweiligen Segmentarterien mit einem Draht sondiert und anschließend die Veränderungen mit speziellen Ballons aufgedehnt. Hierdurch kommt es zu einer Zerreißung narbiger Fasern, die das Lungengefäß eingeengt oder verlegt hatten.
Durch die BPA verbessert sich die Durchblutung des Lungengewebes. Hierdurch verbessern sich Lungenhochdruck, Sauerstoffaufnahme ins Blut und Belastung des rechten Herzens. Dadurch nimmt die körperliche Belastbarkeit des Patienten deutlich zu.



Balloon pulmonary angioplasty for inoperable patients with chronic thromboembolic pulmonary hypertension: the initial German experience


Balloon pulmonary angioplasty (BPA) is an emerging treatment for patients with inoperable chronic thromboembolic pulmonary hypertension (CTEPH).

We report on a prospective series of 56 consecutive patients who underwent 266 BPA interventions (median, five per patient) at two German institutions. All patients underwent a comprehensive diagnostic work-up including right heart catheterisation at baseline and 24 weeks after their last intervention.

BPA resulted in improvements in WHO functional class, 6 min walk distance (mean change, +33 m), right ventricular function and haemodynamics, including a decline in mean pulmonary artery pressure by 18% and in pulmonary vascular resistance by 26%. Procedure-related adverse events occurred in 9.4% of the interventions. The most common complications were related to pulmonary vascular injury and consecutive pulmonary bleeding. Most of these events were asymptomatic and self-limiting, but one patient died from pulmonary bleeding, resulting in a mortality rate of 1.8%.

BPA resulted in haemodynamic and clinical improvements but was also associated with a considerable number of complications, including one fatal pulmonary bleeding. As the effects of BPA on survival are unknown, randomised controlled outcome trials comparing BPA with approved medical therapies in patients with inoperable CTEPH are required to allow for appropriate risk–benefit assessments.

BPA improves haemodynamics and exercise capacity in patients with inoperable CTEPH but complications are not uncommon



CTEPH; Gruppe 4 nach WHO

 most experts agree that approximately 4% to 5% of all patients who have an acute episode of pulmonary embolism (PE) will continue to develop CTEPH. Based on an incidence rate of about 0.1% for acute PE, this translates into a CTEPH incidence of approximately 10,000 to 15,000 annually in the United States alone. Furthermore, there are patients with CTEPH who have no history of prior PE or deep vein thrombosis, adding to the estimated number. Despite these facts, the disease remains significantly underdiagnosed, and currently there are only about 300 PTEs performed nationwide, the majority of which are done at the University of California, San Diego (UCSD) Health System. The technical aspects of the procedure can be somewhat challenging and require meticulous

Meistens ist die CTEPH mit einer vorausgegange- nen venösen Thromboembolie assoziiert. So fand sich in einer internationalen prospektiven CTEPH- Datenbank bei 74,8% der CTEPH Patienten in der Vorgeschichte eine akute Lungenembolie, und bei 56,1 % eine tiefe Beinvenenthrombose

Die chronisch thromboembolische pulmonale Hypertonie (CTEPH) ist eine seltene, schwere Erkrankung. Ursächlich sind Blutgerinnsel, die meist aus den Venen der unteren Körperhälfte, mit dem Blutstrom in die Lunge eingeschwemmt werden (= akute Lungenembolie). Diese werden bei manchen Patienten zu Narbenmaterial umgebaut, das die Lungengefäße verlegt. In der Folge entsteht ein erhöhter Druck in den Lungenarterien (= pulmonale Hypertonie), was zu einer zunehmenden Belastung des rechten Herzens führt. Man geht heutzutage davon aus, dass bei bis zu 5 % der Patienten, die eine akute Lungenembolie überleben, die Blutgerinnsel nicht aufgelöst werden, sondern zu Narben- oder Bindegewebe umgebaut werden und sich dann im weiteren Verlauf eine CTEPH entwickelt.

Symptome Üblicherweise verspüren die meisten Patienten eine im Verlauf zunehmende Luftnot bei Belastung. Da die Beschwerden recht unspezifisch sind, vergehen zwischen dem Auftreten der ersten Symptome bis zur endgültigen Diagnosestellung durchschnittlich 14 Monate. Da sich viele Patienten dann in einem bereits fortgeschrittenen Krankheitsstadium befinden, sollte bei unklarer Atemnot, insbesondere nach stattgehabter Lungenembolie, eine zügige und exakte Diagnostik erfolgen, um die CTEPH nachzuweisen oder auszuschließen.


…jeden Tag der letzten 3 Wochen hatte ich Angst, Angst, dass ich es nicht schaffe, Angst, dass etwas schief geht, Angst, mein Kind „allein“ zu lassen, obwohl Papa (der muss arbeiten), Nanny und Grosseltern (die leider immer doch was finden, was sie machen müssen) da sind, Angst hat sich manifestiert…und ich werde sie nicht los. Sicher, Respekt zu haben ist gut, aber Angst frisst einen auf, macht alles unerträglich und der Kopfschmerz ist da, täglich, wird stärker und in den Momenten des „Guten“ leichter…Dazu kommt noch eine komische Erkältung, mein rechtes Ohr ist zu, schlucken tut „weh“, ein Kratzen im Hals…eine dumpfe bleierne Müdigkeit im ganzen Körper, die es unmöglich macht tatkräftig zu sein und motiviert…sie hindert, behindert, macht steif und starr…Die Yogamatte liegt da, ich „sollte“ Übungen machen, aber ich kann nicht, wie ein Flimmer vor meinen Augen, bin ich einfach nur müde. Ich würde so gerne einmal wieder richtig schlafen. 12h am Stück, ich glaub danach wäre ich ein „neuer“ Mensch. Doch die Hitze der vergangenen beiden Nächte erschwerten jeglichen guten Schlaf. Die Schlaftablette am Freitag hab ich zu spät genommen um halb 1 und um viertel nach 8 war die Nacht rum…doch ich hätte noch weitergeschlafen, wenn keine Bauchspritze gewesen wäre…
Morgen gg. 11 Uhr ist es soweit und um 13 Uhr sollte alles gut gegangen sein. Egal ob 2 oder 3 Segmente, wichtig ist, dass ich es heil überstehe ohne Blut husten, ohne Wasser auf der Lunge…vor dem 2. habe ich nicht so große Angst, es ist mehr die Angst des Blut hustens, denn ich habe schon ein gutes Lungenvolumen…bzw. Sauerstoffsättigung in Ruhe, da denke ich wird meine Lunge jetzt nicht überrascht sein, von dem was noch geöffnet wird auch wenn es mir immens helfen kann in der Bewegung. In 24 könnte ich schon meinen Druckverband haben und lächeln…dann wäre die Angst erstmal wieder verflogen.


What the …. I am doing here?

unbelivable…sitting here and waiting for my 4th operation, already but still 3 after this one to go through…so it turns our really well when I consider that after three interventions I am feeling that better – on the other hand side, I am freaking out, just thinking about what will be if not…of course I can deal with the circumstance, but is this how I pictured my life before? could happen…Having a strange allergy now on my hands, might be nothing to do with the medicine I am taking, as it seems familiar to me, I think I had them twice already, but not that strong and lasting…Sun is shining, my friend Esther is coming later to visit me, I went for a meditation stretching in the park this morning after a short sleep this night and another one the night before with nightmares…If there is somebody, either god or the universe or whom ever who is taking care about us, I pray that he or she will let me survive in a happy way! Of course I would love to deal now and tell what all I am doing, if operation goes well…I know now 100% that my illness turned out because of my high psychical stress lever and under the pressure I am being / was during the last 10-20 years…always wanted to be successful, damn, I was and still I am!  But is it worth if this is the outcome?